It was my birthday today and I was overwhelmed with the many people who checked in on me. From a message that read “Hey Coach, are you still alive? Just checking since you are so old now?” to another that asked, “Changing age-groups again Coach?” I must say ‘Thanks’ and now I will provide some revelations that have come to me over the course of running career that has extended back into the last century.
I present today, some of my racing tips learned over the course of my many, many years of running.
15 Tips from An Aging Running Coach on his Birthday
15) Poop before you run. You don’t want to risk pooping in your shorts during a race. THIS BEARS REPEATING.
14) Poop before you run. If you poop in your shorts, you risk being called “Shit Pants” and getting Depends for your birthday for the rest of your life.
13) You can always be the best dressed person at a gathering of runners if you just wear dress shoes and pants.
12) The only things you can’t do without are your running shoes and your children. Everything else is just window dressing.
11) Ask for an autograph. It makes just about anyone feel good.
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